What I Do
Experiencing the death of your relationship is traumatic. Plus, embarking on your life after divorce brings the fear of an unknown future. This cluster of trauma and fear is the “pain of divorce.”
In a nutshell, I help folks end the pain of divorce and speed up their return to the mainstream of life unencumbered by the baggage caused by divorce..
This is what I do. This is all I do. My name is Jerald Young. I am the Founder and CEO of Smooth Divorce Transition.
My Personal Experience with Divorce
I have been divorced twice and happily married since 1993. I agree with Margaret Mead when she said, “I’ve been married three times, all successful.” I have two daughters and three step children. I currently reside with my wife, actor Melissa Hart, in Minneapolis, MN. Since 2003, I have worked full time helping divorced individuals make a fast and smooth transition from divorce.
My Guiding Beliefs about Divorce Recovery
We hold on to the good: No one ever got married hoping to get divorced. In the beginning, everyone had many significant positive experiences with their partner. We all had what we thought were good reasons to expect the relationship to last. That is why we got married in the first place.
Therefore, it is totally understandable when we want to hold on to those initial positive expectations, even when the relationship has turned sour. We cling to the good memories of “how life used to be” and “how we hoped it would turn out,” even as we go through the trauma of getting divorced. It is those positive memories, and our reluctance to let go of the good things associated with them, that make recovering from divorce more difficult than it needs to be.
We hold on to the bad: Likewise, when going through a divorce, very strong negative emotions typically get triggered. We have the same reluctance to let go of our memories of the bad things that happened, the personal hurt, anger, resentment, disappointment, bitterness, etc. The bad memories seem impossible to let go of.
Our dilemma: So we are left with trying to hold on to the good memories of the past, and unable to let go of the bad ones. So, rather than accepting the reality that the past, good and bad, is unchangeable and irretrievable and the present and future is all we have, we become sort of paralyzed by the competing forces and fall victim to resistance to change.
We succumb to Resistance to Change: Hence, the key to making a successful recovery from divorce requires folks (1) to deal with their very human reluctance to let go of the positive and negative reactions to their past life, and (2) to dissolve away their very normal resistance to accept the changed circumstances of their new life situation.
Recovering from divorce is not about treating the strong, distressing emotions as symptoms of an underlying mental illness requiring therapy. It is about “simply” dissolving resistance to change.
This is what I do. I’ve developed a program to help divorced folks deal with and dissolve away their naturally-occurring resistance to releasing their past life and embracing their new life situation. Only then are they able to sculpt the future of their dreams.
My Program of Divorce Recovery & Transition
Whether you are male or female, gay or straight, if you want to get through your divorce or breakup and get over the traumatic aftermath so you can get on with your life, then my program can help you do it – up to 10 times faster than the norm.
How long would you prefer your divorce recovery to take: 3-5 years or 3-5 months?
Typically it takes 3-5 years to make a full transition from a divorce. It often takes longer. (My sister-in-law still hadn’t recovered after 25 years when she died.) However, the Smooth Divorce Transition Program enables you to return your life to its “new normal” in as little as 3-5 months. Using the Smooth Divorce Transition Program, a proprietary, 3-step, 10-module program I developed, you can (1) dissolve the pain you are currently in, (2) release the baggage from your past relationships, and (3) prepare for your new relationship – with the confidence that it will last.
My Professional Experience
I received a Ph.D. from Yale University and a BS from the University of Oklahoma. For 21 years, I was a professor at the University of Florida where I taught courses on how to manage change. My area of specialization is in “How to Dissolve Resistance to Making Major Life Transitions.” My book on how to dissolve resistance to change, Me? Change? Not Now. Not Ever!, lies at the heart of the Smooth Divorce Transition Program™.
My newest work, The Book on Divorce Transition: The 10 Fatal Mistakes that Will Sabotage Your Transition from Divorce and How to Avoid Them, will be available in 2019.
My advanced coach training includes: (1) Executive Coach Academy of New York City, (2) i-Coach New York’s Professional Coaching Program, (3) Relationship Coaching Institute’s Relationship Coaching programs for both Singles and for Couples, and (4) the Grief Recovery Specialist Program of the Grief Recovery Institute.
I am dedicated to returning my clients to life’s mainstream ASAP with renewed hope, rekindled interest in life, and practical skills that will enable them to enjoy a satisfying, rewarding life after divorce.
Just know that, with your commitment, we can make your last divorce your last divorce!