By Jerald Young, Ph.D.
This article answers the question, “How can I stay focused on what is important for my divorce recovery in the midst of the chaos of exploding emotions?”
Do you feel buffeted by forces you can’t control while trying to make your recovery from divorce? Inside discover how your personal principles provide a stable compass that keeps you on course despite the chaos and distractions that are associated with divorce recovery.
Divorce recovery often leaves us feeling lost, off-balance, disoriented, and vulnerable. Sometimes we feel as if we are careening off course and out of control. Our personal principles can give us confidence by reassuring us we are on course in our journey to a successful and satisfying life after divorce.
Divorce Recovery Is Like Driving Down the Interstate in a Fog
An image that made sense to me when I was neck-deep in the divorce recovery process was driving down the interstate in a dense fog. A very real question for me was, “How can I make sure I stay in the road and not drive into the ditch?” Fortunately, superhighways have a way of reminding us when we are straying off course – those rat-a-tat-tat bumps on the side of the road that warn us we are getting too close to the shoulder. Our personal principles perform the same function – warning us when we are veering off course.
An Example of How Your Personal Principles Can Help Your Recovery from Divorce
A client of mine was having trouble negotiating the choppy waters of life after divorce. Some of his issues were: “How should I deal with my ex?” “What do I do about dating?” “How should I manage the proceeds of the sale of my Soho loft?” These, and other related issues, were driving him crazy. He had trouble focusing on one without another wedging its way into his head. Metaphorically, he was trying to go forward in a fog. When asked what his primary personal principles were in dealing with this time in his life, he responded, “The welfare of my two children.” With that, the fog lifted. He realized that using his primary principle of “what’s best for my kids” as a compass gave him clarity for traveling the blurry road of divorce recovery.
The Promise – You Can Make a Successful Recovery from Divorce Because You Have Stability of Direction
The good news is, we all carry a compass we can use when lost and vulnerable. It will guide us through the maze of divorce recovery with a true feeling of stability and control. That compass is our set of personal principles. Our principles give us a way to determine if our decisions and actions are right or wrong for us in this specific divorce recovery situation. All we have to do is ask, “Is this consistent with or is it against my principles?” The answer will set you free to travel the murky waters of life after divorce.