What Is Smooth Divorce Recovery All About?
We are in business to make YOUR recovery from divorce
EASIER, FASTER, SMOOTHER, and LESS TRAUMATIC!
1. We Help You Avoid the “Three Curses of Divorce Recovery!”
The “Three Curses” and how we protect you from them are:
Curse #1: It Takes Too Long. A typical divorce takes 3-5 years or longer to recover from. We can help you do it in 3-5 months!
Curse #2: It Breeds Ill Will and Anger. A typical divorce leaves you held hostage by the past, harboring ill will and resentment towards your ex, that prevents you from moving on. We have helped our clients reduce their negative feelings, on average, by 80%, and increase their positive feelings about life after divorce by 86%. We can do the same for you.
Curse #3: It Leaves You in Fear of Re-Divorce. A typical divorce leaves you feeling afraid your next relationship will end in divorce also — with good reason: 66% of 2nd marriages and 75% of 3rd marriages end in divorce. We can help you make sure that does NOT happen to you.
Smooth Divorce Recovery provides a safe place to bring your pain, hopes, and fears. We offer you a proven program that (1) is targeted for the unique problems faced by individuals trying to recover from divorce, and that (2) gives you a step-by-step road map that will swiftly return you to a normal, fulfilling “life after divorce.”
2. Our Origins.
Smooth Divorce Recovery represents the intersection of Founder Jerald Young‘s (1) life-long professional career focused on dissolving resistance to change, managing change, and building interpersonal trust, and (2) his personal life experience of being divorced twice and happily married since 1993.
Young’s Professional Side
After receiving his Ph.D. from Yale, Jerald was a professor at the University of Florida for 21 years. He taught courses in how to manage change and how to build trust in interpersonal relationships. His particular specialty was in how to dissolve resistance to change. In 1995 he left the university and opened an Organizational Development consulting firm, The Center for Stable Change. There he wrote a book, Me? Change? Not Now. Not Ever!, in which he developed a research-based program on how to dissolve resistance to change.
In 2003, he shifted his focus from helping managers dissolve resistance to change in the workplace to helping divorced individuals dissolve their resistance to change when they got divorced. The goal was to help divorced individuals reduce the pain of divorce and speed up their return to life’s mainstream.
Using a revised version of the original program on how to dissolve resistance to change as the basis for his practice, he founded Smooth Divorce Recovery, a divorce recovery coaching firm. Smooth Divorce Recovery is dedicated to helping divorced individuals put their life back together after their divorce and to preparing them for the wonderfully fulfilling life they desire and deserve.
Young’s Personal Side
After 10 years of marriage and with his daughters 6 and 8 years old, Jerald went through his first divorce. He continued to live in Florida while his wife moved to Colorado with their daughters. For the next twelve years he was a “long-distance dad,” seeing his children over Christmas and during the summer. He remarried and lived with his second wife and stepson for 14 years, after which he got divorced for the second time.
Since 1993 Jerald has been happily married to his third wife, Melissa, and became step-father to another son and daughter.
With his professional training in dissolving resistance to change, combined with his two trips to divorce court, Jerald is uniquely qualified to help others going through and recovering from divorce. He understands the divorce transition process and how to manage the speed bumps along the way. He can also easily empathize with the emotions of others going through it. In a very real sense he has “been there, done that,” even has a couple t-shirts to show for his efforts. Since 2003, helping folks make a swift and smooth recovery from divorce has been his full-time career. He thoroughly enjoys helping others navigate the difficult waters of divorce recovery. For a more complete bio of Jerald, click here.
3. Core Beliefs
Divorce Is an Equal-Opportunity Source of Misery – and Hope
Male or female; straight or GLBT; black, white, brown, or whatever; a broken relationship is a broken relationship regardless, and we all suffer the same. The sooner and the more completely we can deal with and bring to completion our relationship that has died, the sooner we can turn our attention and energy to living the life we desire and deserve.
Social Interaction is Absolutely Necessary for Healing
We recognize the critical importance of social contact and support, even in the Assisted, Self-Managed Recovery Program option. Note that we do not talk in terms of a DIY or “Do It Yourself” option. Recovering from divorce is not an “independent studies” project. A fast and complete Recovery from Divorce cannot be accomplished inside the private confines of our head. Knowing the right stuff is necessary, but not sufficient in itself to recover. Healing from divorce requires a truthful social connection with someone who has no personal agenda for us, and with which we feel free to share our feelings, fears, and thoughts about our divorce as well as our life after divorce. Note that this rules out new lovers, family, and many close friends. We not only must figure out what is going on inside us, but also talk about it to an understanding, empathic friend for healing and recovery to occur.
Divorce Recovery Benefits from a Structured Program that Pinpoints the Uniqueness of the Post-Divorce Transition
Pure social support for the divorced person (like you receive in most divorce support groups), especially from others who are going through the same transition, is very useful in allaying fears that we are “crazy” or “terminally unique.” However, social support in and of itself does not enable the divorced person to make a full and healthy recovery from divorce and an effective transition to the next chapter in their life. We believe a full and complete recovery requires a structured program calibrated to follow the unique issues and timing of the natural transition process of recovering from divorce from beginning to end.
The Coach’s Job Is to Raise the Right Issues at the Right Time; The Client’s Job is to Do the Work
We put responsibility on the coach for raising the right issues in the right order at the right time. The client takes responsibility for doing the work that will lead to recovery.
4. Our clients are enthusiastic in their gratitude.
“Your program left me put-back-together, freer, and whole.” MH, New York Actor
“After my divorce, I was sad, disillusioned, hurt and bitter. With Jerald’s kind and compassionate approach, we worked through the program and restored a positive quality to my life.” CP, NYC
“Following a highly contentious divorce, I was very angry, hurt, and afraid to make any demands on my ex to change the visitation agreement. …. After working through the Smooth Divorce Recovery program, I was able to successfully work with my ex to change the visitation arrangements. We remain friendly to this day.” MW, FL